Hey folks, lots of "Letters to
the Editor" below.
Take a few minutes to check them out. --ed.
Updated: 5-2-13
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www.aviationfamilyfund.org |
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Several Birds have asked if the website can list the current Independent Medical Sponsors that are available nationwide to help those pilots in different locations find the appropriate doctor who can shepherd him towards a special issuance medical. Here is a link that can provide you with that information: -ed. www.faa.gov/pilots/amelocator/media/HIMS%20INDEPENDENT%20MEDICAL%20SPONSORS.docx and click on "updates to this list" |
Go to
CURRENT NOTICES
page
for updates and new information
Bill B., posted9/17/11
From Beth C. Int’l BOAF Sec’y Big Bird Nov 2010
I want to address a serious topic. Birds of a Feather is a life saver to many alcoholic pilots. It is a forum where we can discuss aspects of our sobriety and situations that we might not be comfortable talking about in a regular AA meeting. For most of us, honest sharing can only occur if we can trust that what we share will not be shared with others. As in AA, each BOAF nest is autonomous in terms of who they include in their membership and what goes on in their meetings. So it is up to each group’s conscience to do what needs to be done to provide a safe place where members can openly share.
I know members who don’t want the general AA membership to know they are pilots (or likewise members of BOAF). I know one who when asked, says he is a heavy equipment operator. My own nest recently realized that our box with Big Book, sign in sheets, etc. was in a closet at the local FBO where we meet. Anyone at the FBO could have opened the box and had access to our information. We have since obtained a locking gun box which now holds membership lists, etc.
As the New Year approaches, I ask each nest to carefully review their focus and practices regarding confidentiality of members information and sharing. I am suggesting a group 10th step where each nest reviews how effective they are in carrying the message to the suffering alcoholic as well as providing a safe, loving environment where recovery can occur. Please take the time to review your own nest and make any appropriate changes*********
From Omar S. in Mexico City on 10/31/10
Scott, hope you're doing great I was
wondering if you could please change my phone number to this one
+527772743016 on the solo birds page, I have good news to start the
group in Mexico city, we are going to start with a monthly meeting every
last Friday of the month at Mexico city's airport terminal 2 starting
January, I let you know when to place that information on the website
hopefully next week I'm just waiting for an authorization from the union
to use the space thanks again and hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Omar S.
From TJ at the Charlotte Nest
Posted 4/10:
A very helpful link for pilots flying to Europe is
aa-europe.net I met
the man who maintains the sight at a meeting in Germany, and it is
remarkably accurate in finding English speaking meetings.
**********
From Beth, our
Big Bird, on the new LAX North nest
They have 3 regular members and a couple of others who seem to come in
and go out. The meeting is held in one member's home...certainly the
nicest venue for an AA meeting I have ever attended...it is every
Wednesday and they asked me to encourage others to visit them. Even
though the three regulars know each other's story well, there is that
special connection that pilots in the program have, where aviation plays
such a big part of their drinking and recovery story and it is just
easier to be honest in a meeting full of pilots.
Beth C.
PDX Nest
**************
Posted 4/7/10:
**********
Posted 2/13/10:
From Corey in Houston
Just an update on the IAH nest. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary last week with a “Happy Birds-day!” Cake and goodies! I gave a brief timeline of where I was and how the nest came about to the group. A topic of “It works if you work it and how far we’ve come and why” tended to prevail through the discussion. We will be handing over the chairperson spot for the next yearly service. He should be contacting you soon.
***********
Posted 1/9/10:
Posted 9/4/09:
Hi-
Wanted to share
how my day started.
I was in a big hurry on my way to work when I had
to stop at a crosswalk. Pissed that I had to wait for a pedestrian to
cross, I was very much in my head about my hi-bottom problems. Looking
at the person in the crosswalk nudged me into my judgmental mode that
allows me to feel better about myself in these situations. You see this
guy was disheveled and obviously "less than". It was then that I
noticed in the pile of books in his hand were the Big Book and the 12 &
12.
I stopped him to let him know that I loved his choice of
reading material. He was a little startled, but when I told him I was
one too, he smiled brightly and said he was 21 days sober and was the
best he has been in 30 years. He thanked me for talking to him. I
would like to think that our brief talk helped him, but it was what it
did for me that proves how this thing of ours works. I am in the moment
and in so much gratitude right now.
I'm so glad that I had to
wait at that crosswalk.
Fred L.
*********************
Posted 5-21-09:
From one of the DFW Convention Speakers
I wanted to thank you and all the participants,
I really enjoyed this past weekend. I loved the presentation on Friday as both Fr. Mark and Dave talked about the transition into recovery.
I thought Scott R on Saturday was amazing. What a testament of this program. I am in awe of how he walked through all of that. He deserves the riches of sobriety, he certainly paid his dues. Most of all, I loved learning more about BOAF. What a wonderful support/organization. When I was in direct care, I spoke of this program, now I feel I understand it more clearly. I will pass my experience onto the staff, especially of those working with the airline members.
Thanks again,
George Plesniak, MS, ACRPS,
CAC
Director of Utilization Review
Father
Martin's ASHLEY -
www.fathermartinsashley.org
410-273-2234 - 800-799-4673 x234
gplesniak@fmashley.com
****************
Posted 5-18-09:
A message from one of our DFW Convention Speakers:
Just wanted to take a second to thank you all for your hospitality, kindness and fellowship this past weekend. I have worked in the field of Addiction Treatment for over 20 years , 14 of those with Fathers Martin’s Ashley , and have actually had the honor of working directly with some of the Birds and their families. This past weekend was and will remain one of the highlights of my years of work in the field. The closeness and unity that I was allowed to be part of was something that few will get to experience and be a part of. I hope that our time with you on Friday and Saturday was worthwhile and productive, and if the opportunity to ever work with you all again comes up I would clearly welcome that chance. Thanks again for what I consider the opportunity of a lifetime
Keeping Carrying Your Message
Dave Matukaitis
Ravendave56@aol.com
*****************
Posted 3/30/09:
Dear BOAF,
I was so gratified to read the kudos to my dear friend Cindy Rucker on your site. Cindy loved flying with every particle of her body and worked tirelessly to become a pilot. She was a fabulous graphic artist (just ask the Los Angeles Times) and a good musician/ songwriter as well.
The day in 1977 when she was accepted as a pilot for Western Airlines was a banner day for her and for women everywhere. All those who knew her thought her fearless and were stunned to discover she was an alcoholic--she covered it well. But like everything else she did, Cindy tackled it head on with the help of BOAF, the support of friends and family, AA, Buzz A., and the Betty Ford Center. She worked hard for more understanding from the airlines and government and educated everyone possible as to the plight of airline personnel with substance abuse.
I miss her still...thank you for keeping her memory alive.
Ronny S.
********************
Posted 3-22-09
Here are a couple of letters from folks about the recent passing of Richey G. :
You had better enlarge the website because there is NO way one can write a small article on Richey Grude. She had tooooooooooooo many great attributes and meant so much to tooooo many of us for a small article. She was one swell lady and well loved by all of us. You could only look at Lee's eyes and see the love he had for her and visa versa. One great couple to be remembered by many.
Ann B.
**************************
This seems so appropriate for our dear Richey:
There Is No Death
I am standing on the seashore. A
ship at my side spreads her white
sails to the morning breeze and
starts for the blue ocean. She is an
object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch her until at
length, she is a speck of white
cloud just where the sea and the sky
come to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says “There! She’s
gone!” Gone where? Gone
from my sight, that’s all. She is just as
large in mast and hull and
spar as she was when she left my side,
and she is just as able to
bear her load of living weight to her
destined harbor.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And
just at the moment when
someone at my side says “There! She’s
gone!”; there are other eyes
watching her coming and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout
“There she comes!”
And that
is dying.
Mike B.
FOR A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO RICHEY G.
CLICK HERE
*******************
Posted 2-10-09
Dear Editor,
What
a difference a year makes!
A year ago, when flying into
Sydney, Australia, my typical experience would have been like this:
Land about 6 pm, get to the hotel around 7, exhausted and many, many
time zones out of sync. Meet in the lobby at 7:30 and go out with
my crew for dinner and beers. Ditch my crew around midnight, when
they would go back to the hotel, or I would go off in search of "more
excitement" (after all, I'm half-way around the world, so who will ever
know what I do?) Drink beer all night long. Stumble back to
the hotel about daylight. Toss and turn all day. Meet in the
lobby at 5 pm for pick up, feeling like crap and praying I don't get a
breathalyzer.
Fast forward a year, one stint in
a treatment center, HIMS, a good sponsor, probably several hundred
meetings, countless hours of step work, prayer and reading the Big Book.
Get to Sydney about 6 pm. Go out and get a quick bite to eat.
Sleep a good, long, restful sleep. Wake up the next morning and go
to a 7 am AA meeting a short walk from the hotel. Have breakfast.
Walk around town, enjoying the exotic sights and sounds. See a
woman obviously distrought sitting on a curb down an alley talking on
her cell phone. Feel compassion for her. Notice there is a
flower vendor at the corner. Buy her flowers and offer them to
her. She refuses to accept them, obviously very disturbed a
stranger is trying to give her flowers! Don't argue. Exit
the alley and notice the street sign, "Angel Place," so figure she'll be
okay. Now walking around town holding a bouquet of pink flowers.
A woman walks right up to me, sticks her face in the flowers and says,
"Are these for me?" I say, "Why, yes, they are!" Hand them
to her and continue my walk.
Stop for a sandwich and am
given a HUGE sandwich, only half of which I can eat. Wonder what I
should do with the other half, I don't want to waste it, but it won't
last until I get back to the hotel. Notice a homeless guy begging
at the corner. "Would you like a sandwich?" He eagerly
accepts it.
Go to a noon Big Book meeting and listen.
Walk back to the hotel and a get a good nap before pick up. Meet
in the lobby for pick up, ready to go and wide awake, feeling good for
the long flight coming up.
A friend back home said in the rooms,
"Act right. You'll soon think right, and then after a while you'll
feel right." Well, thanks to my Higher Power guiding me around, I
am discovering this is indeed true. And I can't tell you how
grateful I am to the AA program for making my layovers infinitely better
than they used to be. It definitely feels good to feel right!
Yours in Sobriety,
D. W.
***************
Posted 12-28-08:
I would like to borrow a Richeyism to describe a recent event.I recently had the pleasure of doing a two week cruise from San Diego through the cannel to Fort Lauderdale.
I went to the "Friends of Bill" meetings each day and for the first few days there were only two of us. We just had an informal meeting and mostly talked about our programs. One day we were talking about meetings we attend and she said to me that one of her favorite meetings was one in DC. that was a bunch of " mostly retired pilots". It was called Birds of a Feather.After I got up off the floor, I said that I new some of those people and dropped a few names on her.(Probably a rule violation). We had a good laugh about that and became instant friends.
We were later joined by more people and had a group of about five. Two of those had recent relapses. One after 17 years and one after 24 years. I could have told their stories before they did. Stopped going to meetings, stopped working the program, etc. Anyway it was a real lesson to listen to them. The other fellow that joined us was having a little more trouble figuring things out. He was a retired Naval Officer and had been through the Navy Program. He was only drinking " no alcohol" beer. At least that was what he said. I suggested to him, that it wasn't really "NO" alcohol, and it was a very dangerous path. He eventually stopped coming.
The best part is that I
learned a lot from every one of these people and it made my sobriety
even better.
*****************
Posted 12-27-08:
Dear
Editor,
So here I am in Budapest, Hungary, newly sober and in
need of quieting down the committee in my head. OK, check the web.
Ahhh, English AA meetings three times a week on nearby Kertesz Street!
It gets dark early this time of year in Budapest, so by 6 pm, as I am
walking to the meeting, it feels like it is the middle of the night.
Walk four streets up, turn left, find the building number, and stand
there looking at a building with broken windows, trash all over the
place and the universal graffiti painted everywhere. Obviously, a
building not yet cleaned up from the 1956 revolution....
Oh,
well, walk inside and the lobby smells like urine but, lo and behold, a
sheet of paper reading "AA - One Flight Up, On The Left" taped to the
wall. Up I go and sure enough, in a small room obviously used as a
sort of kindergarten during the day, there are three or four people
making coffee, passing out Big Books, and setting up AA posters and
pamphlet racks. Everyone is friendly, and I am welcomed by an
older Hungarian gentleman who can barely speak English. Soon there
are six of us, the Hungarian gentleman who I later discover always reads
the "How It Works" so that he can practice his English, a Hungarian
lady wrapped in several layers of warm clothes, a disheveled and very
harassed looking Englishman, and two other Americans like me, here for
work or pleasure.
The meeting opens with the Hungarian lady
chairing. One of us reads the Preamble, the elderly Hungarian
gentleman reads "How It Works," and we are all asked if anyone needs a
chip. Since I am the newcomer here, I am given a copy of "As Bill
Sees It" and asked to pick a reading for tonight's topic. I choose
#176, "Domination and Demand." I read it and speak for about ten
minutes about how I relate to it. We go around the room sharing
our experience, strength and hope. We end the meeting with the
Seventh Tradition, someone reads the Twelve Traditions and, standing in
a circle holding hands, we pray the Serenity Prayer and end with the
familiar, "It works if you work it so work it your worth it!"
I
am at home, here in this small AA meeting in a foreign country where the
language and people are as exotic to me as anywhere I have ever been.
My new friends all have stories I know from having lived them. The
details are different, but the thoughts and feelings are the same, and
the committee inside my head is once again quiet.
After the
meeting we all shake hands and wish each other well. I leave, and,
as I go down the stairs of this building that looks like it is next in
line for the demolition crew, I remember t hat the most dangerous
neighborhood for me is not here on this dark street, but the one I carry
around with me between my ears, and I feel very blessed and grateful to
be part of the AA fellowship.
Yours In Sobriety,
Dan W.
Miami
***********************************
Posted 11-26-08:
Hi, my name is Tom C
and I cannot believe that I have not found BOAF until today.
If I
would have in my AA journey then I may still be flying.
Too bad for
me but timing is everything.
Anyway, where to go from here. I
sent a qualification e-mail to the POC and would like to share my story
and attend a convention and meet other pilots with AA.
Thanks,
Tom C
Monument, CO
*******************
ARTICLES & STORIES OF INTEREST
Relapse
© Daniel S. 02/06
There you are before
me
Lying in that bed
Restrained, you cannot move
There’s pain within your head
Convulsions take and
twist you
Wreathing like a snake
If you keep on using
I’ll be
there at your wake
Growling, groaning,
turning
Seizures wrack your frame
Your heart is beating faster
As you shout out you’re in pain
Here I stand before
you
Sadness in my heart
The disease is clawing back
And ripping
you apart
Your world is falling
down
You cannot take the strain
Addiction draws you close
And
whispers in your brain
It tells you to keep
using
So you won’t have to live
If you keep on drinking
Your
life you’ll surely give
I see your tears and
heartbreak
The fear within your eye
I hear you say I’m sorry
As
you begin to cry
It clearly is
displayed
The shame upon your face
You feel you have no worth
And sit in your disgrace
You are just like me
And sick as I am still
Against this deadly ill
One sip will take
our will
The road laid out for
you
Is not an easy one
By taking daily steps
You will not be
undone
I’ll say a prayer for
you
And be there when you call
With friendship and some faith
We will not see you fall
Copyright Daniel S. 02/06
From the Grapevine
"Once during a period of weekend
piloting, I flew a light plane into the clouds over some hilly terrain
and got lost. The plane was without blind-flight instruments and I
was without training in blind flying, and therefore in moment-to-moment
peril of a fatal tailspin. I tried to climb out of the cloudbank
but couldn't make it; it was too high. To try to get under it
might wind me up in a pile of burning junk on a hillside, or in a power
line. Whether I went up, or down, or stayed where I was, my life
was in great danger. I was a clammy, sweaty scared.
"I did not hang onto this spiritual insight.
After a day or two of awed reflection I forgot it, resumed my usual ways
and usual drinking, which was progressing toward a climax. Seven
years later, again fogged in, with all courses of action blocked in
alcoholic impasse, I met some people who had "come to believe that a
Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
Remembering then my deliverance from the cloud-shrouded hills, it was
easier than it might otherwise have been to believe as they did."
Is God Your "Co" Pilot?
Like many pilots, I first got
interested in flying airplanes by reading books as a youngster and
watching flying movies late into the night when in grade school and high
school. One movie that really stood out for me was God is my
Copilot. I really enjoyed that one and I have since then
read the book by Colonel Robert L. Scott at least three times.
As
my drinking started and my alcoholism progressed I would never pass up
the opportunity to watch these old movies when they would come on late
night television. Many times I sat there and fantasized that I was
General Frank Savage taking over and whipping into shape a squadron of
B-17 pilots like Gregory Peck did in 12 O'Clock High.
I truly was suffering from delusions of grandeur, a true
character defect if there ever is one. As my recovery progressed I
realized that if I was ever to be truly sober I would have to "deflate
my ego" to the extent that I could finally address these defects and get
my life more on a realistic, even keel. It took several years and
I continue to confront an ego that will get the better of me if I allow
it.
One way I have found that helps me is
allow my higher power to be more active in my life. And so now
here comes my point: In the movies I am always in control of
everything. There is only room for God to be my co-pilot.
In recovery, I have to make more room in my life for him than that.
So that is why I say to pilots who are new or years into the program
that:
"if God is your copilot, it's time to
switch seats".
Scott H.
Dec 2008
A MECHANICAL APPROACH TO THE 12 STEPS
Step 1: I had an "Old Clunker" of an airplane parked at the airport. I had just about given up on it but decided to make a wholehearted attempt to restore it.
Step 2: I couldn't fix it, but I came to believe someone could.
Step 3: I turned the plane over to an A & P mechanic.
Step 4: I took an inventory of all that was wrong with the "Old Clunker."
Step 5: I shared the inventory with the mechanic.
Step 6: I helped take off the old parts.
Step 7: I let the mechanic handle the rest.
Step 8: We made a list of all the parts that were needed and got together and went over them.
Step 9: I admitted I hadn't checked the oil and fluids properly, or fixed the other things that were going wrong. It was my responsibility to take care of the plane, and I had not. I wanted to help, but being unfamiliar with the process, I allowed the mechanic to fix things. The airplane turned out beautifully!
Step 10: I check the oil, fluids, tires etc. more regularly, and when I don't the engine doesn't hum.
Step 11: I call on the mechanic whenever there is trouble, asking him to fix the plane.
Step 12: That mechanic and I have become such close friends that we decided to take a trip across the country, and we stopped to help all that needed it along the way.
